I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
