Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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