you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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