Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize