In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
