you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I need to calm my uterus...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
