I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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