Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
