my vag is so smooth its legendary
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
