Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
