i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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