So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
