You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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