I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
