sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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