I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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