Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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