shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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