I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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