Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
