She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
