I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
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