Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
