): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
