There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
