dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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