2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
