she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Randomize
