Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
