I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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