Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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