i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
