You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
