I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
