the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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