Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
