I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
