Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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