The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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