I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He better not be in your backpack
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
