I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize