office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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