Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
