Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
