i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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