he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
