so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
