Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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