so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
