ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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