i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I still have a little drunk in my system
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
