the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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