Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
