you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
