woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We need to rekindle our bromance
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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