I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
