Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize