You really coming over, don't trick.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
